He Heals the Brokenhearted and Binds Up Their Wounds

Some of you who were at BlissDom knew I wasn't drinking Blisstinis for a reason... This week I should be 13 1/2 weeks pregnant. Yesterday I went in for an ultrasound after having a little spotting to find a baby measuring 10 weeks with no heartbeat. In an instant I was heartbroken in a way that's become too familiar to me. This is my fourth pregnancy loss, and it's by far the worst. Here I was thinking I had entered the coveted 2nd trimester, only to find that my baby's been with Jesus for three weeks already.

Last night I read the blog by a mommy blogger named Beth who I met last weekend briefly who had lost her pregnancy just a week ago. Her whole post spoke to me, but especially this little bit:

We become mothers the minute we learn we are pregnant. The dreams, the love, the fears, the apprehension are all weaved together to create motherhood. And sometimes those dreams don’t come true and the fear does come true and for other others their dreams do come true and their fears don’t come true, it’s all so complicated. So beautiful. So painful.

For those of us who have and are going through this, it truly is an agonizing roller coaster. I honestly don't know if I can do it again, as much as I ache to feel those little kicking movements in my belly again.

Right now, I'm just trying to get through it all. I want it to be over and I want to move on, as hard as that is. I am so incredibly thankful for the miracle that is my daughter, but that doesn't change the fact that I grieve for another life that will never be. Another baby that I'll never hold and cuddle and nurse and watch grow.

I felt the Lord spoke this verse to me this morning in a powerful way.

The Lord builds up Jerusalem, He gathers the outcasts of Israel. He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. He determines the number of the stars; He gives to all of them their names. Psalm 147: 2-4

I know my God is big. I cannot begin to comprehend how women make it through this kind of heartbreak without knowing that He's there to heal and bind up those wounds.

If you feel like you don't know what to say after all this, that's okay. I understand. But if you do feel like commenting, here's what I'd love, how about you share with me a scripture or some kind of encouragement that has spoken to you or someone you know in hard times. Thanks for reading and loving me.